Guardian of Legend

Title: Seasons
Written by: Auron (me)
Disclaimer: All characters and locations are property of square, except Kale, he's mine
Warnings: FF X spoilers; shonen-ai, if you don't like the idea of two men being in love, turn back now
Summary: Sequel to Days of Innocence, if you haven't read that turn back now and do so. The story starts with Auron and Braska as teenagers and goes through the end of the pilgrimage. The last few chapters develop the Jecht x Auron relationship.

Seasons
Part 1: Happiness

Auron entered the classroom just in time to see Braska kneeling by the sensei’s desk with a writhing snake in his hand.

“Don’t you think we’re a little old for that?”

Braska turned back to look at Auron. In the years that Auron had spent at the temple he had grown, a lot. At 16 Auron was no longer so short, but he was still shorter than Braska. Auron had also grown up and left behind the boyish mischief that had so terrorized the temple. He had continued to show great promise and quickly advanced in his studies, which didn’t do anything to make him any more popular.

Braska hesitated for a moment and then that same mischievous grin broke out across his face.

“Nah.”

Auron rolled his eyes as Braska opened the desk drawer and put the snake inside.

“Fine, but you did this one on your own.”

Braska followed Auron to their seats at that back of the room.

“Oh you’re no fun Auron.

Braska smiled, a smile that Auron had never been able to resist, a smile that always melted away all his barriers. Auron smiled back and gazed into Braska’s blue eyes until he was interrupted by the high pitched “AYIEEEEEE!!!!” that came from the direction of the desk. Auron put his hand over his eyes; not again, please not again.

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Auron and Braska were back in a spot that had become all too familiar. Auron sat on his bed, his back to the wall and his arms crossed and a decidedly unthrilled expression on his face. Braska sat on the edge of his bed with a mischievous grin trying to contain the snicker that was fighting it’s way free. Kale stood before them with his arms crossed and a disappointed look.

“I had hoped you two had outgrown pulling such childish pranks.”

“I had nothing to do with this one.”

A snicker escaped from Braska and Auron turned his head to look at him. How the hell could he still find this so funny?

When Auron turned his head Kale saw a deep gash at the corner of Auron’s eye and could see a bruise forming.

“What happened to your eye?”

Auron turned away and his cheeks grew hot at Kale’s words.

“It’s nothing.”

“Certainly doesn’t look like nothing to me.”

Auron just grumbled and did his best avoid the gaze of Kale’s eyes. Kale turned to look at Braska as if he could get answers from him, and he was right, much to Auron’s dismay.

“The other guy had a ring on.”

Auron jerked his head around the glare at Braska. Kale just shook his head.

“Still getting into fights.”

“I didn’t start it.”

“But you had to finish it.”

Auron didn’t say a word; nothing he could say would improve the situation.

“Alright then, you are both grounded for the next two weeks, and you will remain in your room for the rest of day.”

“Why me? I didn’t do anything.”

Kale spoke as he reached for the doorknob.

“For concealing injuries from me.”

Auron started to say something but decided it wasn’t worth it. Instead he just grumbled as Kale opened the door and left the room. Auron turned to look at Braska.

“I hope you’re happy now.”

“Mm-hmm.”

Braska nodded and he had a huge goofy grin on his face. Auron turned away and laid on his side, his back to Braska.

“At least one of us is.”

Auron glanced up from the corner of his eye to see Braska hovering over him still wearing that goofy grin. Braska’s long silvery-blue hair brushed against the mattress.

“Awww…I know you don’t mind Auron, I know you too well.”

Auron rolled over onto his other side and pulled the pillow over his head. Braska leaned down trying to see Auron’s eyes. Auron could feel Braska’s breath across his neck and it made him shudder.

“Braska, don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

Auron thought about that question. Indeed Braska wasn’t doing anything; it was his own mind reacting. Auron tried to be angry with Braska for getting him into trouble, but he couldn’t. Why the hell couldn’t he stay mad at him?

Auron peered out from under the pillow at Braska. Auron’s mind was screaming at him as his thoughts raced through his head. Auron loved Braska, truly loved him, so much that there was no love left in his heart for anyone else. It was the love that a boy feels for his brother, that a son feels for his father, that a man feels for his belov…Auron couldn’t bring himself to finish that thought. He knew that he would never be that to Braska. But that was okay because he didn’t want that, at least he didn’t think he did. He just wanted to always be with Braska, to be held when he was hurt and injured, to support Braska when he needed strength, to always be able to look into those kind blue eyes. That was all Auron ever wanted, and as long as he had that, then he could be happy.

--to be continued--

Seasons
Part 2: Sorrow

Auron and Braska stood on the highbridge of Bevelle temple in complete silence. Neither of them could find words to say or the strength to move. They had just gotten word that Kale, their beloved father, had been killed by Sin. And to make matters worse, in the time that it took for the news to get to them, Sin had been defeated by the high summoner.

Auron tried desperately to keep his stoic expression, to keep the tears that were gnawing at him from spilling out of him. Disbelief and rage flowed through the 17-year-old. How could this happen? It wasn’t fair.

Braska was in complete shock. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, all he could do was walk. And Auron followed him.

“Auron, I need to be alone.”

“Alone?”

Alone? Why? Braska had never asked to be alone before. Why did he need to be alone?

“I need to think.”

But why alone? Why was Braska shutting him out?

Auron had stopped dead in his tracks and watched as Braska walked away from him. The truth was that Braska couldn’t bear to look at the sorrow in Auron’s eyes, the sorrow that he tried so hard to hide, the sorrow that ate away at him, the sorrow that only Braska was perceptive enough to see. He couldn’t face that now; it was just too painful to watch.

Auron was left standing a long time after Braska had vanished from his view. He felt lost, completely lost. He didn’t know what to do. He had never heard that tone in Braska’s voice before, and it frightened him.

Auron felt his feet moving. He didn’t know where he was going, didn’t care where he was going. He just had to get off that highbridge and the thoughts that haunted him there.

------------------------

When Auron returned to his room he found Braska there. Braska didn’t look up when Auron entered the room and continued with the task he buried himself in.

“What are you doing?”

“Packing.”

“Packing?”

For what? Why was Braska packing? Was he leaving? Leaving without Auron?

“I’m…going away for a while.”

Auron was speechless. Going away?

“I need to get out and think.”

Think? Why couldn’t Braska do that here?

Braska finally turned to look at Auron.

“Please try to understand Auron. I just…need to get away for a while.”

Why? Why are you leaving me?

Braska picked up his suitcase as he stood and laid a gentle hand on Auron’s cheek as if he could read the young man’s thoughts.

“I will be back, I promise. I could never leave you behind.”

Why? Why are you doing this to me? Why?!

Braska whipped away a tear that had escaped Auron’s eye, Still such a child.

“This is something I have to do. You will understand someday.”

Braska gently kissed Auron’s forehead and then walked out the door.

Auron stood in shock staring out the window. He barely noticed the wave that Braska gave to him even though he subconscious returned it. What would he do now?

----------------------------

It would be a year before Braska returned to Bevelle temple. During that time Auron had completely immersed himself in his studies and had greatly advanced his skills. He was now 18 and nearly 6 ft tall although he had not yet reached his full height.

When Auron heard that Braska had returned he ran to the highbridge to meet him. Auron wanted to hug Braska as hard as he could, he would have had he not been stopped dead in his tracks by the woman who held Braska’s hand. Auron stood in stunned silence.

“Auron! It’s good to see you.”

Braska rushed forward to hug the man that he hadn’t seen for a year, a man that he had dearly missed. Braska broke the hug and gestured to the woman

“Auron I’d like you to meet my wife.”

Wife? Auron was crushed and he felt despair closing in on him. He had been left behind and now abandoned. His felt the remnants of his world crashing down around him. He had thought that he and Braska would be together forever, that things would go back to the way they were. Auron’s body may have grown up, but he was still very much a child.

Auron noticed that the woman had reached a hand out to him.

I-

Auron felt heat rise to his cheeks and felt his control slipping from him. He hastily bowed, ducking his head.

“I’m very sorry.”

And with those words Auron ran. Braska’s eyes grew sad as he watched Auron retreat. Braska turned back to his wife and smiled at her but his thoughts were on Auron.

I will have to speak with him.

------------------------------

Auron’s steps were rapid as he walked through the temple halls and it took every ounce of self-control he had to keep himself together.

At some point Auron passed another monk, it was Kinoc. Oh no, not now.

Kinoc quickly approached Auron and draped an arm over his shoulder.

“Where are you going in such a hurry, Auron?”

Auron had become acquainted with Kinoc shortly after Braska had left. Auron had only wanted a friend, but Kinoc wanted more. And although Auron made it perfectly clear that he wanted nothing to do with Kinoc in that way, it didn’t stop the other monk from trying.

Auron pried Kinoc’s arm from his shoulder.

“Leave me alone Kinoc, I am not in the mood for your games.”

“Well that wasn’t very nice.”

Auron didn’t care, and he didn’t turn back, didn’t slow down. He just kept right on walking, he didn’t even look back to see if Kinoc was still following him.

-----------------------------

Auron sat on the stone wall of the temple yard looking over the ocean, in that same spot that he and Braska had been so many times.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Auron glanced over his shoulder to see Braska standing behind him.

“I always come here when I need to think.”

“I know.”

Auron made a sound that only Braska could have understood. How was Braska so able to read him when he could hardly read himself?

“I heard you’re a warrior monk now.”

Auron nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks.”

There was a long silence as both of them stared out over the ocean. Braska tried to find the words to say.

“Auron.”

Auron lifted his head a bit but couldn’t bring himself to look in Braska’s eyes.

“I haven’t abandoned you, please don’t think that. I told you before that I could never leave you behind, that has not changed. It’s just that…well, you know.”

Auron nodded.

No, I DON’T know. Then why the hell had he nodded?

Again there was a long silence.

“Auron,…I’ve decided to become a summoner.”

Auron nearly fell off the wall and he turned to look Braska right in the eye.

“What?!”

“I’m going to become a summoner and defeat Sin.”

“But, you know what happens when a summoner calls the final aeon.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Then why?”

“I want to free the world of sorrow.”

Then why are you causing more? Why are you leaving me again?

“That’s just stupid.”

“Is it stupid to follow a dream?”

Auron turned away and was silent. When he finally spoke again it was a single, simple question.

“Why?”

“It’s something I have to do, a dream I have to make real.”

Damn you, Braska, I hate it when you use that answer.

Auron took a deep breath.

“Then, when you start your pilgrimage, I will be your guardian.”

Braska threw his arms around Auron’s neck and hugged him tight.

“Thank you, Auron. I was hoping you would say that.”

Auron had far from given up though, he was not about to stand idly by and watch as Braska sacrificed himself. But he had time, Sin had not yet returned, and he still had opportunity to talk Braska out of it. Auron would leave the subject for now. Right now, he just wanted to spend some time with the one that meant the world to him, he wanted to share old times, even if it wouldn’t last.

---to be continued---

Seasons
Part 3: Joy

Why him? Why did they have to bring along this drunk off his ass, embarrassing, lousy excuse for a human being? Those had been Auron’s first thoughts of this man from Zanarkand. Why did Braska insist on bringing this thing along on their pilgrimage?

Auron hated and despised this man. This man who showed no respect to Braska, how dare he treat his beloved Braska that way. It made Auron snarl at every opportunity and made him smirk with evil glee whenever Jecht got his ass into trouble, which was more than often.

Auron tried to get along, really he did, for Braska’s sake. But he just couldn’t, just couldn’t get past the roughness, the brashness, the lack of respect. At times Auron wondered why he hated Jecht so much, but Jecht always managed to remind him. Still he couldn’t help thinking that there was another reason, something hidden in the darkness of his heart, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

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Time changes many things, our emotions, our feelings, our perception. But in truth time does not change us, it merely makes us realize the truth. This was even true for stubborn stoic guardians.

Over their time together, Auron found his perception of Jecht had drastically changed. He had learned to see the man for what he truly was and look past the quirks that had so annoyed him. Auron wondered why he had changed so much, why he felt emotions stirring inside, emotions he had never thought himself capable of. He had fallen in love, head over heels.

Auron realized that the reason he had so hated Jecht was because of the ache that the man caused in his heart, the emptiness that he revealed in his soul. Jecht made Auron realize that a part of him was missing, and he hated that feeling. Auron had thought that that emptiness would never be filled and it had made him hate Jecht that much more. But he was tired of hating and hiding from himself, and he couldn’t run from it any longer.

And so he would stay up all night, watching over the two men he loved so dearly. He would protect them and be their strength, and in that he was content.

---------------------------

Jecht woke one night to see Auron staring at Braska, watching him intently. Jecht lifted himself up on one elbow.

“What are you doing?”

Auron started at the sound of Jecht’s words, a bit embarrassed.

“Just, thinking.”

“Thinking huh.”

Jecht stood up and walked over to Auron and then sat next to him.

“What about?”

“A lot of things.”

“Like what?”

“Like, life.”

“Oooo…deep.”

“Please don’t make fun of me Jecht.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Auron looked up at the stars, for some reason they didn’t seem as beautiful to him as they once had. For now they only served to remind him of old memories, memories of times that would never be again.

Jecht looked at his fellow guardian with concern. Auron had always been stoic and silent, expertly hiding the sorrows that ate at him behind the veil of his dark eyes. But now when Jecht looked at him he could see that which Auron tried so desperately to keep locked away was escaping. It was heart-rending to watch, but Jecht couldn’t turn away.

A single tear rolled down Auron’s cheek, a trickle of emotion that had broken free. Jecht slowly reached out one hand and gently wiped away the tear.

Auron gasped, his heart caught in his throat, as Jecht turned his head toward his own and then slowly leaned down to press a kiss to his lips.

Auron loved Jecht, deeply, such that his entire being burned with it, and he could not even begin to understand or describe it. But it was not until that kiss that he realized Jecht truly loved him back, and with just as much intensity.

------------------------------

Theirs was a playful love, pure, intense, and full of passion. Jecht enjoyed teasing Auron throughout the day, enticing him just enough to turn him on and delighting in the frustrated glares he received in return.

Jecht would often walk alongside Auron with one arm slung over his shoulder quietly snickering at Auron’s expression. At times he would slip his hand under the collar of Auron’s red coat to run his hand along the bare shoulder beneath.

“Jecht, please.”

“I know you like it, Auron, you can’t fool me.”

Auron would shudder at the feel of Jecht’s breath across his neck. Then he would shoot a threatening glance at his beloved.

“Just you wait until tonight.”

“Oooo…is that a promise?”

Auron would just smirk, a certain wickedness in his expression.

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Jecht would grin and again stroke Auron’s shoulder.

No matter how many times Auron tried to pry himself free from Jecht, the arm would always return to his shoulder and the game would start all over again. And in truth, Auron didn’t really mind. He swore that he would never admit to Jecht how much he enjoyed it, but then he didn’t need to, Jecht could already see it.

They spent all their nights together and Auron always made good on his promise. They allowed themselves to become lost in their passion as their hands reached each other. They shared their hearts, their minds, their bodies, and their souls. They belonged together and to each other, they were soul mates. Together they were happy, they were complete, they were one.

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Auron had found happiness and joy in Jecht’s arms, something that he thought he would never have again, something that he thought was forever out of his reach.

But as happy as he was, the end of the pilgrimage and what would happen there still ate away at the back of his mind. The thought that he would be losing Braska was too difficult to bear, and though he tried to push it away, it continued to haunt him.

Auron loved Braska dearly, always had and always would, that would never change no matter what happened or how they changed. The lose of the one that he had grown up with and loved for so long would be the hardest thing he had ever faced.

But now the lose that he thought would destroy him suddenly seemed survivable. Auron saw a light, and that light was Jecht. He had found something to hold on to, something to love, something to live for. And for the first time in more years than he cared to remember, Auron found that he could be truly happy.

---to be continued---

Seasons
Part 4: Despair

He sat in silence, his back pressed hard against the rocky ledge. Dark clouds loomed around him and consumed him. It was over, Sin was defeated, and they were gone. He was alone, completely alone. All he had left were memories and shattered dreams.

‘You must choose which one will become the faythe.’

What? What the hell had she said?

Auron was a man, but he was still very much like a child in so many ways. He was filled with naïve hopes and dreams and foolish optimism. He thought that things would always work out, he thought that he could have his deepest desire, he thought his dreams would come true, he thought that he could change the world. But in that instant everything changed, at those words he was forced to grow up. And it hurt like hell. He felt his heart ripped from his chest as he watched his world shatter and his dreams crumble.

‘Make me the faythe.’

No Jecht! Don’t do it! Don’t leave me! Please Jecht! NO!!

How could Jecht do this to him? Why was he leaving him? What was he thinking? Why Jecht? WHY?!

‘Sin is eternal, it always returns.’

LIES! It was all lies! Everything they had ever been taught was a lie!

‘The final aeon defeats Sin, and becomes Sin in its place.’

WHAT?! What the hell?!

He had begged with them, pleaded with them, tried to convince them, tried to make them see. The whole thing was pointless, the pilgrimage was a lie, everything they had done till now was a lie! Why didn’t they see that? Why didn’t they understand? Why wouldn’t they listen to him? WHY?!

He clung to them both, he refused to let go, he couldn’t accept that they were throwing away their lives for nothing.

Don’t leave me! Please don’t go! Don’t leave me alone!

But he had been unable to stop them, they had made up their minds, they had given up. And in the end he just sat there allowing sorrow and despair to consume him as they walked away from him. And now they were gone, and he had nothing left.

Auron had lost everything, everything. Sin had taken it all; his home, his family, his past, his father, his brother, his beloved, his future, his hopes, his dreams, his life, his love, everything. It was all gone. Everything he had ever cared for, everything he had ever loved, everything that had ever been a part of him was gone. And he had nothing left, nothing! And for what?! A lie! He had lost everything to a lie, a lie!! Everything he had ever known was a lie, a goddamned lie!

Auron sat, his heart in pieces, his soul in shreds, his dreams in shambles. Bitterness surrounded him, rage filled him, and hatred consumed him. He hated everything and everyone. He hated his father for dying barely a week before Sin was destroyed, he hated his sensei’s for teaching him lies, he hated Braska and Jecht for believing those lies and sacrificing themselves, he hated all of Spira for celebrating, he hated the whole damned pilgrimage, and he hated that bitch for covering the whole thing up. But most of all he hated himself for not stopping them, for just sitting there while they went off to die, for giving up so easily.

His hatred burned him its the darkness and he made no attempts to resist it. Rage flooded through him and consumed his soul until there was only one thought left, REVENGE!

He would avenge them, he swore it, if it was the last thing ever he did. He would take back everything that he had lost. He would pry his dreams from that bitch’s cold, dead fingers.

Rage coursed through his veins and spurned him on, back to Zanarkand, back to the dome, back to that bitch. His eyes glowed with the hatred and rage burning inside him. His determination was fierce and his will unwavering. Anything that was unfortunate or unwise enough to cross his path met a quick end on his blade.

He had no idea how much time had passed when he at last reached the dome. He didn’t care, he just wanted to find her, to make her pay for what she had done, to make her pay for his sorrow.

When he confronted her she barely acknowledged him with a glance.

‘What are you doing here?’

As if you didn’t know!

‘Go away.’

Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily!

He wanted them back, wanted them back now. He wanted everything back. It was his, she had no right to take what was his!

‘They died because they had hope.’

LIAR! They died because they believed. But it was all a lie! A LIE!

Auron could bear no more. Fire burned in his eyes as he tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword. Hatred and suicidal rage flooded through him as he charged, his sword brandished for the strike.

But she didn’t care, he was nothing to her, and she flung him aside with a single flick of her hand.

Pain, searing pain shot through him as he flew backward and landed on the cold stone floor with a resounding thud. He desperately tried to get up, but his strength had left him and his body refused to obey. He could have sworn he heard her laugh as he drifted into the blackness of unconsciousness.

--------------------------

He was lying in a pool of blood, his blood. As he slowly opened his eyes he became away of the burning pain that shot through his body. He could barely see through the blood that flowed from the wound on his face. His head pounded and his body throbbed, every breath was a struggle that only brought more pain.

Slowly he struggled to his hands and knees, gasping for breath, writhing in anguish. He put one hand to his face and felt the deep gash there. He was blinded in that eye and absently he wondered if it was even still there.

Blood everywhere, his blood. It was all over his clothes, in his hair, on the ground, on his skin. Pain; searing, burning, scorching pain. It shot through him, through his chest, his head, his gut, his legs, his entire body.

Why the hell was he still alive? He had wanted to die! Damn it! Why was he still alive?!

‘Auron, promise you will take Yuna to Besaid.’

He had promised that hadn’t he. He couldn’t die yet, that vow wouldn’t let him.

Somehow he struggled to his feet and limped over to where his sword had stuck in the ground. He wrapped his hand around the hilt, grateful for the support it provided.

‘Auron, look after my son in Zanarkand; he needs you to hold his hand.’

‘I promise’

Damn you Jecht! How the hell am I going to get to Zanarkand?

‘You’ll find a way, you idiot. What about your infinite possibilities?’

Right, possibilities.

He summoned his strength and pulled his sword free. Slowly he limped forward. Every step was a struggle and he would have fallen without his sword to lean on. He somehow forced himself to continue; he couldn’t give up, not yet.

Tired, so tired. It would have been so easy to give up right there. He wanted to die, wanted it to be over, wanted to surrender. But he couldn’t, he still had a task to complete, he still had vows he had to keep.

He didn’t know how, didn’t know when, but somehow he would find a way. Even after his life escaped him, he would find a way. He had to find a way. Because, if he didn’t; he would never see Jecht again. And that was simply…not an option.

---end---